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24HourForums.com > Supported Forums > Britt's Child Education > REPORT: To Spank or Not to Spank?

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Saint
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 Posted: 11:33 pm

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Speaking of which, I was in line at Walmart last night, and a ten year old was pulling stuff off the shelves.  The mother stood by and said nothing while we all watched her expectantly. 

Finally, the cashier turned and asked the boy politely to stop.  When she turned back to help us, the boy threw a candy bar at her and beaned her on the back of the head.

The mother never said a thing, she just walked away as if nothing happened.




A^2 + B^2 = C^2

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Britt
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 Posted: 11:38 pm

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Saint wrote: I'd have to agree with almost everyone here.  You all had good points.  At least none of us is raising children without any discipline at all.

If we were, we'd be on the "Nanny 911" show.


:good:

Dear Saint, the voice of reason!

::peace::




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 Posted: 12:39 pm

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24HourNut wrote: I know it is poor to compare a child to a criminal.
Yes it is, I'm suprised you went down that route.

An analogy between whacking your child on the bottom and shooting a burglar ? ::scratch::

:oops:
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 Posted: 12:43 pm

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cynicalninja wrote: 24HourNut wrote: I know it is poor to compare a child to a criminal.
Yes it is, I'm suprised you went down that route.

An analogy between whacking your child on the bottom and shooting a burglar ? ::scratch::

:oops:


Quiet, don't torture me! :)  You know I explained that I was talking about how swift and immediate punishment is often most effective for "wrongdoers" as a deterrent.  If you have kids you know what I mean.  That was the common point in that analogy.




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cynicalninja
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 Posted: 12:55 pm

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24HourNut wrote: cynicalninja wrote: 24HourNut wrote: I know it is poor to compare a child to a criminal.
Yes it is, I'm suprised you went down that route.

An analogy between whacking your child on the bottom and shooting a burglar ? ::scratch::

:oops:


Quiet, don't torture me! :)  You know I explained that I was talking about how swift and immediate punishment is often most effective for "wrongdoers" as a deterrent.  If you have kids you know what I mean.  That was the common point in that analogy.

Fair enough

I see where your coming from.

::peace::
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 Posted: 12:58 pm

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::peace::

Maybe I should keep some info private, like how I dress them in a convict outfit for time outs?

:giantgrin:




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 Posted: 01:00 pm

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24HourNut wrote: ::peace::

Maybe I should keep some info private, like how I dress them in a convict outfit for time outs?

:giantgrin:

:rotfl: My gosh Frank........even I could not believe that and I'm reallllll gullable:D




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 Posted: 01:04 pm

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I even have a disposable camera for the mug shots...




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 Posted: 01:06 pm

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24HourNut wrote: I even have a disposable camera for the mug shots...

Well, of course. Gee don't every Dad?

::nsmile::




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 Posted: 01:33 pm

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24HourNut wrote: I even have a disposable camera for the mug shots...

Yeah, and he PhotoShops 'em onto Wanted posters so they all look like a disgruntled and lice-infested Jessie James.

(They secretly LOVE that.)




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 Posted: 05:23 am

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I don't have any children, but it saddens me to see how many people today don't use any form of discipline whatsoever on their children these days.  I don't believe in spanking, but drawing the line somewhere and teaching the child what is right and wrong to me should be essential.  Letting the child do whatever he/she wants is not doing the child any favor, in my opinion.  I see this more frequently than not, and wish it were different.  It happens even in my own (extended) family. 
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 Posted: 05:24 am

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Luvdawgs wrote: I don't have any children, but it saddens me to see how many people today don't use any form of discipline whatsoever on their children these days.  I don't believe in spanking, but drawing the line somewhere and teaching the child what is right and wrong to me should be essential.  Letting the child do whatever he/she wants is not doing the child any favor, in my opinion.  I see this more frequently than not, and wish it were different.  It happens even in my own (extended) family. 
:good:




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 Posted: 12:15 pm

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In no circumstances is it ever alright to hit a child...........ever........period!
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 Posted: 01:22 pm

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Hamster wrote: In no circumstances is it ever alright to hit a child...........ever........period!

I concur.

People that thinks it is deserve a visit from my crack squad of super ninja's.

::nchuck:: 

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Marcia Brehmer
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 Posted: 11:24 pm

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As a child I was spanked and more than anything it created resentment toward my parents. When I had my own children at first I did spank them, because I didn't know WHAT ELSE to do.

After finding out that my son had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) I started learning that spanking him for things caused by his ADHD was the most INEFFECTIVE form of discipline. It DIDN'T stop the behavior. And I could remember when I was spanked and told to stop misbehaving thinking - "Well, I would if I knew HOW". Through attending many conferences, reading many books, facilitating many parent support groups I learned that what changes behavior is to teach the NEEDED SKILL. Tell the child what you WANT them to do...not what you don't want them to do.

For a simple example: If your child slams the door every time they go out - tell them "Please, close the door quietly" And then make them go BACK to the door and close it the way I expect them to do it. Of course they may forget and slam it again, but once I have "established the expectation" and showed them the skill needed, I just need to say to them...go back and shut the door quietly.

Once I started figuring out WHICH SKILL was needed to teach, things became a LOT MORE manageable. I became less frustrated and my kids paid a lot more attention to my disciplining. This approach to parenting works for all kids not just for those with ADHD. I can recommend several books on the parent coach approach. The first one that comes to mind is:"The Parent Coach: A New Approach To Parenting In Today's Society" by Steven Richfield. You can view info about this approach at http://www.parentcoachcards.com/

Blessings,
Marcia

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