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UsedToRide Original500© Member  Lovin' the Life
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This thread was made for the greatest show ever made.....M*A*S*H. For quotes that you use, favorite episodes, favorite characters, whatever. Join me in fond remembrances, classic plots, the oddity that while Hawkeye was a sheer pacifist, he remains one of my favorite characters ever!!! I recall one scene in an episode titled The Moose where Spearchucker and Trapper had major issues with a girl coming in and cleaning up The Swamp, and Trapper saying, Someone came in here and committed a neatness!!....a line I use when the opportunity arises. (Not that anyone ever cleans my house for me, but...) What are your favorite parts/scenes/episodes/characters? Last edited on 05-08-2008 10:37 pm by UsedToRide  Respect some, trust one, fear none ~~Bullet A hundred criminals may be set free, but one innocent man should not go to prison, for that will make the entire system criminal ~Chief Justice T.L.Venkatraman |
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Erinna1112 Original500© Member  Witty clever title pending
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Oh, geez.... Radar, upon returning from R&R, found his office to be an absolute pigsty. Klinger had exploded in there, and the place was...well...a war zone. (sorry, couldn't resist). Later in the mess tent, Radar encountered Klinger, who asked how the office was going. Radar's response: "I cleaned it up. There was another mess underneath!" Charles, upon encountering a woman with whom he shared a drunken weekend in Tokyo: "Do you mind if I ask you a very personal question?....What is your NAME?!?!?!????" Charles, upon being asked by Hawkeye how many drinks he had had during said drunken weekend: "Oh, two, three.....bowls." Frank: Why do people take an instant dislike to me? Hawkeye: Saves time. Charles: One does not wax philosophical when one is about to be sent to Leavenworth. My God. That's in Kansas. Frank: I love it here. Potter: Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one. Flagg (a personal fave of mine): I've got to nip this guy in the bud. This sort of behavior is contagious, you know. One guy decides he's not gonna fight anymore, it catches on, and pretty soon you know what we've got? BJ: Peace? Klinger (Part of a sing-along in the mess tent): Oh, some guys like the army; I think that it's a mess. If it's so damn terrific, how come I wear a dress??? Margaret: Oh, Frank. You're so above average. Frank: It's nice to be nice...to the nice. Henry: Do we have enough sherry and ginger ale for the General? Radar: Oh, nobody does, sir. Henry: Oh, fine, then, if nobody does we don't have to. But make sure we do, just in case we don't.
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UsedToRide Original500© Member Lovin' the Life
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Later in the mess tent, Radar encountered Klinger, who asked how the office was going. Radar's response: "I cleaned it up. There was another mess underneath!" Ok, first off, it was in the officer's club, not the mess tent. Frank: Why do people take an instant dislike to me? That conversation took place between Ferret-face and Trapper, not Hawkeye. If you're going to quote my all-time favorite show....GET IT RIGHT!!!   And where the hell is Mud? He calls himself a fan?  You can cut me off from the civilized world; you can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates, you can poison me with your thrice daily swill, but you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard, and I shall be delivered from this foetid and festering sewer!!! ^^^^ One of the best scenes in the show. ^^^^
Respect some, trust one, fear none ~~Bullet A hundred criminals may be set free, but one innocent man should not go to prison, for that will make the entire system criminal ~Chief Justice T.L.Venkatraman |
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Saint Forum-Blogger© Pioneer100© Member  Polymath
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Margaret: Hey! Isn't that Frank's bag? Trapper: I thought you were Frank's bag.
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Saint Forum-Blogger© Pioneer100© Member Polymath
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Well, what's the slop du jour? -- Hawkeye If you want a drink, sir, -- compliments Henry Blake -- brandy, scotch, vodka. And for your convenience, all in the same bottle. -- Radar If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy. -- Hawkeye Oh, go salute yourselves! -- Margaret The way I see it, the army owes us so many coffee breaks, we should get 1954 off. -- Hawkeye Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. -- Frank I want you to accord Major Houlihan attention and respect according to someone who achieved her high rank and sex. -- Henry Do you know that you look just like my father before he died? -- Margaret Radar (in a letter): As usual, I'm writing slowly because I know you can't read fast. I am not so think as you drunk I am. -- Margaret This is the first case of teenage male menopause. -- Hawkeye Halloween in Korea -- bobbing for shrapnel. -- Hawkeye I am going to live through this even if it kills me. -- Klinger I want foxholes there, there, there and there -- each one smartly dug. The kind of hole a man can throw himself into with pride. -- Frank You ever had one of those wars where everything goes wrong? -- Hawkeye You can't park a jeep over a superior officer!!! -- Frank Don't worry, I've never lost a patient. I never lose anything. Have you seen my stethoscope? -- Hawkeye Come on stupid, don't play dumb with me! -- Hawkeye Corporal, deform the men. -- Frank Henry, you are bursting with something, your face could open a branch smile! -- Hawkeye She's offered her body to science. Time and time again. -- Hawkeye I've gotten "Thank you" notes from people I said I'd never see again. -- Frank This is captain Pak, R.O.K, this is lieutenant Mulcahy, G.O.D. -- Henry How can you kick out this little puppy of a person? -- Hawkeye to Frank about Radar That's what I understand from a very reliable gossip! -- Frank Quiet, will you? The man is trying to be dull. Go ahead, Frank, dull away. -- Trapper It's Mrs. Colonel, your wife, sir. -- Radar Sit down, Trap, it lets you use your best part. -- Hawkeye After the way I am having a bust made out of your head, or, possibly, the other way around. -- Hawkeye to Margaret I've never seen you in your underneath before. -- Radar It's Frank's birthday, I wonder how old he is. Let's saw him in half tonight and count his rings. -- Hawkeye Poetry, right? That's great how they can rhyme and be hot at the same time. -- Radar Frank, can I borrow your doctor's diploma? They are a little short in the latrine. -- Hawkeye What? He changed to psychiatry? That's crazy! -- Radar Frank, you've been pushing your stethoscope too far in your ears. I think it scratched your brain. -- Henry Well, I guess that's a bear we all gotta cross. -- Radar (this one really cracks me up!) Oh, I am fine. Well, not really, I am closer to lousy than fine. -- Radar How would you like to donate a pint of blood through your nose? -- Trapper I told you the food here should not be taken internally. -- Hawkeye Ugly color, 40 years out of style, fits like a tent? It's a class A uniform alright. -- Hawkeye You know what time it is? It's quarter to dead! -- Hawkeye Every time he tickles those ivories, the entire elephants' graveyard turns over. -- Charles about Father Mulcahy playing piano. (This is certainly one of my favourite, only Winchester could have said it!) It's the first time I've seen orange juice labeled "freshly killed". -- Hawkeye Get away from me before I get physically emotional! -- Radar I am going to name my first wife after him. -- Hawkeye about Radar It always amazes me how a baby can take a normal adult and turn him into a babbling idiot. -- Potter You different men are all alike. -- Margaret You'll have to excuse these two, they are themselves today. -- Potter Hawk, you are shaved, cleaned, dressed! It's revolting. -- BJ If I don't eat regularly, everything solid in my body turns to liquid. -- Radar Why don't you sirs act like sirs, sir? -- Radar It's 3 'blessed' a.m.! Even roosters are comatose! -- Potter What good is it to be a Ferrari if you are out of gas? -- Corpsman Ignazio Desimone You are toying with me like a cat with a dead moose! -- Corpsman Desimone Us? Put in cement? We are doctors, not dentists. -- Hawkeye I can't do it, I'm not a psychiatrist. I am not screwed up enough. -- Hawkeye Carbon paper in the safe -- what brilliant foresight! In only 2000 years it will turn into diamonds! -- Charles The only thing Charles remembers fondly from his childhood is his hair. -- Hawkeye This is the last darn sock I darn until the war is over. -- BJ Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion. -- Col. Flagg You blow another kiss, Pierce, and those lips will never walk again. -- Potter Any father of Margaret is a father of mine. -- Hawkeye The meek may inherit the earth but it's the grumpy who gets promoted! -- Father Mulcahy You have to give Winchester a credit. He is bright, educated, and an A-1 surgeon, and with all that he still found a room to be a total jerk. -- Potter Any mindless baboon can see she isn't here, including me. -- Frank May the mother of your camels spit in your yogurt! -- Klinger Hi, good-looking, get sick here often? -- Hawkeye to Margaret I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! -- Hawkeye I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions -- Hawkeye What happens in the event that figure 'A' is attracted to figure 'B' and wants to get married, but figure 'A' is already married to figure 'C' and figure 'B' is engaged to figure 'D', but figure 'A' can't keep his hands of figure 'B' because she's got such agreat figure? -- Trapper Never insult seven men when all you have is a six shooter -- Potter Insanity is just a state of mind. -- Hawkeye -- This is one of my favourites! Klinger, it's my considered opinion that no one is going to believe you are pregnant -- Henry I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son, and he dresses a lot like my wife -- Potter Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head -- Frank Always trust your car to a man who has a star -- Hawkeye I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot -- Frank Oh Margaret, you're my snug-harbour. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to sail into. -- Frank Meanwhile, Aunt Martha, having taken a tramp through the woods, lies in a ditch on the edge of town... -- Hawkeye I've got two kids of my own. I'm a former child myself. -- Henry Hawkeye, someone came in here and committed a neatness! -- Trapper The enemy cuts off your supply line, lets you get cold and hungry and then they go right for your soft underbelly. That's where the rifle fella. -- Frank You know you're beautiful when he's angry -- Hawkeye Frank, it's after six, you can stop being snotty! -- Henry Ah, Klinger, my constant reminder that Darwin was right! -- Charles Besides one of us is in love with Henry, and I think its me! -- Hawkeye Forward...Drink! -- Hawkeye You have a fever of 109 stroke 10, you can't have an incubator but you can have a pizza to go, unless of course you go first. -- Hawkeye ...In the meantime, be on the lookout for a male caucasian lamb. He is unarmed, and considered to be delicious. -- PA announcer
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Saint Forum-Blogger© Pioneer100© Member Polymath
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I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got thrown into this war I had a clear understanding with the Pentagon: no guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even 'hari-kari' if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! -- Hawkeye I think this is my favorite Hawkeye tirade. It was so typical of him.
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Saint Forum-Blogger© Pioneer100© Member Polymath
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Most Tear-Jerking / Wistful Episode besides the last one: Henry's leaving and death. Funniest Episode: Frank's tank. Second funniest: Margaret Drunk Most Sureal Episode: 5 O'clock Charlie Best Character: Hawkeye...duh. Best Hawkeeye sidekick: Trapper (the second one)
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Erinna1112 Original500© Member Witty clever title pending
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Saint wrote: Best Hawkeeye sidekick: Trapper (the second one) Well, make up your mind. Is it Trapper, or is it the second one? Sidekick #1: "Trapper" John McIntyre, played by Wayne Rogers, appeared in seasons 1-4. Sidekick #2: B.J. Hunnicut, played by Mike Farrell, appeared in seasons 5-11. Next fave: Trapper, at a party celebrating his appointment to Chief Surgeon: "No. No booze. I want sex. {spots Hotlips across the mess tent} Her. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Bring her to me. Take her clothes off and bring her to me."
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Marie5656 Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member  Just hanging out
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Favorite all time episode was the final one. Sad to see the show gone, but I always thought they did well with the ending. I also always remember Henry Blake'd death, and Radar tearfully announcing it to the surgeons.
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UsedToRide Original500© Member Lovin' the Life
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Marie5656 wrote: I also always remember Henry Blake'd death, and Radar tearfully announcing it to the surgeons. A couple of oddities about that particular episode. One; the cast didn't know till the day of filming that Blake was being "killed off" the show. And two; at the very end when Radar announces Henry's death, someone on the set mistakenly drops an instrument. It is a very distinctive sound in the silence after the news. Instead of editing the noise out, the writers decided that it sort of "jolted" everyone in the OR back to reality and they left it in.
Respect some, trust one, fear none ~~Bullet A hundred criminals may be set free, but one innocent man should not go to prison, for that will make the entire system criminal ~Chief Justice T.L.Venkatraman |
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Marie5656 Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member Just hanging out
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I remember reading about the dropped instrument, but not about the cast not knowing....wonder if it was so the reaction would be genuine.
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UsedToRide Original500© Member Lovin' the Life
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Marie5656 wrote: I remember reading about the dropped instrument, but not about the cast not knowing....wonder if it was so the reaction would be genuine. Absolutely that was why. And to prevent the cast from being overly-emotional while the filming was going on, since they were losing a favored cast member. Gary Burghoff was interviewed on a 30th anniversary show and said his tears were quite genuine; that he didn't have to act to coax the tears to come. I have to imagine that Larry Linville, (Major Frank Burns - aka "Ferret-face") could have had a hard time occasionally. I really hated Frank!! He was such a pansy. I remember another episode where he puts in the paperwork for a Purple Heart because he got an egg shell fragment in his eye. He wrote up the request as just "shell fragment". The puke. Geeze, I couldn't stand him!!!
Respect some, trust one, fear none ~~Bullet A hundred criminals may be set free, but one innocent man should not go to prison, for that will make the entire system criminal ~Chief Justice T.L.Venkatraman |
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Saint Forum-Blogger© Pioneer100© Member Polymath
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I could have sworn that there was another "Trapper" for the first show or couple of shows, before Wayne Rogers came along. It was only for a show or two though, I think.
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Erinna1112 Original500© Member Witty clever title pending
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Saint wrote: I could have sworn that there was another "Trapper" for the first show or couple of shows, before Wayne Rogers came along. It was only for a show or two though, I think. My DVD library contains the pilot episode, which is playing as I type. Wayne Rogers played Trapper in the pilot and in seventy-one more episodes from 1972 - 1975.
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UsedToRide Original500© Member Lovin' the Life
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I have just watched the episode about the big huge camp/unit bonfire. POP QUIZ!!!! What does the character - Sidney Freidman (the shrink) - do at the very end of this episode? Bonus question; what song does the cast sing? (Only hint........lice.)
Respect some, trust one, fear none ~~Bullet A hundred criminals may be set free, but one innocent man should not go to prison, for that will make the entire system criminal ~Chief Justice T.L.Venkatraman |
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