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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member  ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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Welcome to RaVenWorld! I have no earthly idea what all I will cover in my blog, but it def should make for an interesting read. I live a crazy life. I also lead a double life. . . There's Mom, and then there is RaVen. I'll try to stick with the latter, since those stories will be sure to have you checking back daily to see what crazy shit I've done next ;~p So yes, thanks for taking the time to visit RavenWorld. . . if there's anything you'd like me to discuss (since I can be much more open here) don't hesitate to message me and I'll try to include it in my next post. Man, I have some crazy stories. . . XoXoX Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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He drives me crazy!! !! Most of you are familiar with my "relationship" with Cary. . . if you're not, you can refer to the 'Religion' section with my post entitled 'Holy Guacamole, don't faint'. I've hit my breaking point, and still, I stay here, stuck, unhappy, unsure, etc. . . I've tried everything I can think of to make things work between us, and it seems the more I try, the more I get hurt. Yesterday, things hit a new level, which I didn't even think was possible. I won't go into detail, but let's just say I became angrier with him than I have ever been. I wanted to tell him to get out, it was over, I can't do this anymore. . . and yet, even though I expressed my anger over that situation, I couldn't bring myself to say the rest. I've never been so confused in my life. (mind you, I've led a life in my short 24 years that most will NEVER even come close to by the time they die). . . so, I feel justified in saying this is new, even to me. I've never had so much hope in something that felt so f*ing hopeless. I don't know what to do now. That saying, you can't live with em, can't live without em. . . wow, it's got a lot more truth to it than I had originally thought. I don't know when I hit a point in life where happiness caused pain. I don't know when I decided that it was worth sacrificing everything I am for someone else, just to hold on to a "pipe dream", as Cary calls it. I'm really burnt out. below is a painting he did for me. It's actually our hands in there. You can see the scars on us both just like they are in real life. This painting was the single most wonderful present I have/ and prob will, ever recieve. Until he took a butcher knife to it last week. to be continued . . . Attachment: (Downloaded times) Last edited on 09:01 pm by RaVen |
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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So. . . I was sitting here with my youngest son, listening to music, and it occured to me. . . I wonder what kind of music will be out by the time he's picking out his own bands to listen to? I remember sitting there with my mom, listening to what is NOW considered oldies. The songs seemed so ridiculous and old fashioned to me. Is that what my children will think about my music when they are older? Will behind blue eyes be the equivalent (sp?) of brown eyed girl? Will BYOB have the same effect on them that comfortably numb had on me? Will the techno I like now sound like the pac man music to them then? And what WILL music be like then? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, we've really done a lot with music in the last 20 years. What's left? What else can we do that's not already been done? Will it just be noise? And by that, I don't mean how my mother called my music nothing but noise. . . but actual noises, like dogs barking mixed with wind and a garbage disposal. Will we take country, techno, rap and gospel, throw them together with a 4 by 4 beat, and call it something like Neo Throttle God Rocker Funk? Will I hate my kids music as much as my mom hated most of mine? Or will it stay the way it is, and we anticipate the same cd's being released? And if that's the case. . . Will we go to concerts together? Will they be embarressed that mom is climbing the rafters in the auditorium, rockin out to their favorite band? Will I have to avoid places I would nomally love, because now it's their scene? How can I tell my daughter to stay out of the mosh pit, when I'm in there bouncing around like a human superball? Are most parents gong to hate me because their kids think I'm the coolest mom ever, or will those kids think I'm just trying to be "cool"? WTF?! I am cool! I'm super cool! Will I be lame then, because they think I'm trying to be cool like them? I'll pitch a fucking fit if I'm labeled "the mom who thinks she's as cool as us". Little shits, my generation made things possible for you to be cool! And yeah, my mom talks about music they did drugs to. Pink floyd, Frank Zappa, Led Zepplin. . . and my generation still listens to that stuff while we get our respective buzzes on. So, will that be the case with my kids (hey, not trying to predict rebel futures for them or anything, but they DO have my genes, it's inevitable that they will atleast try them. . . frequently)? Will they listen to the old, old stuff, like that? Will they listen to the old stuff, which is what we listen to now? Will they be listening to the new stuff. . . and if so, what the hell will it sound like? Will they laugh their asses of at me, when I tell them I tripped shrooms to Jack Johnson. . . just like I laughed at my mom for getting high to the carpenters? This really has me contemplating their future. Music was my life! It still is! Italways will be! And thank god, I have favorite bands that havent sold out, and still put out good new music. What if that concept is foreign to them? What if there is no good new music? What if the only way to put good "new" music in their hands is to get out my "old cd collection"? And FUCK, I'm gonna cry when I HAVE an "old cd collection"! Will me getting out my cd's be the equivalent (sp?) my mom getting out her old 45's? So . . . This is what I was thinking about. . . just thought I'd share with you guys, cause I wuv yoo! <3 RaVen
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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nicoles party! after the shower  Attachment: (Downloaded times) Last edited on 04:58 pm by RaVen |
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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Had to crop the rest, it was NOT kosher to post on here  Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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The birthday girl and my boi Jake! This was my favorite pic I took all night! Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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It has been brought to my attention that my buddies here are wondering if I'm MIA. . . Sorry guys. Life really sucks right now and I don't feel like talking to anyone. But I still love you. I'll be back around sometime. Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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Greetings from RaVenWorld! Hello all. . . how goes it there? I wanted to stop in while I had a minute. . . and tell you I miss you! Life has taken many turns since I last posted, but they are good ones and I am *gasp* happy! I prob wont be up for posting anytime soon, since I am ungodly busy these days. . . but, I'll try to stop in and check my messages more frequently, so please write me and say hi! Here's a couple pics from the last couple weeks. . . enjoy and take care!! Muah* Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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My lovely slave, Christina, came for a visit. . . yummy  Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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I heart her. . . Until next time guys. . . take care! xoXox Attachment: (Downloaded times)
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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Hello all!!! It's been quite a while, hasn't it? Life got a little crazy there for a minute, so I needed to take a break from everything while I settled it back down. Good news!! I'm having a baby girl!!!! I'm thrilled to no end! Cary and I worked out our problems and have been going strong again for the past few months. I couldn't be happier about that! Thanks again for all of your support during our "situation" at the beginning of this year. It really meant a lot to me. We're getting ready to buy a house! I can't wait! I turned 25 last month! Ahhhhh! I'm getting up there. . . hehe. My middle son is starting kindergarden in a few days! He's super excited. . . and I have mixed feelings about it. The break will be nice each day, but I fear I will miss him dearly. People tell me I gotta "cut the cord" . . . but hell, atleast I love him that much! I took most of my "friends" and cut them out of my life. It was long overdue. . . and I am so much happier now because of it. Hmmm, I think that's about it for the moment  How are all of you? Muah*
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RaVen Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member ~I am The Queen of Mars~
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well hallo crowd. . . RaVenworld is back =] wait til you hear the latest craziness =] I'll update soon. xo
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