|
||||||
 |
Recent Posts | Search by username | |
Contact Us | |
Login | |
Register |
 |
 |
|||||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Moderated by: 24HourNut |
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Author | Post | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
cynicalninja Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member  Smiling Shinobi
|
  |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Hello I am cynicalninja and this is my dojo (confession no.1 - I don't like the word blog, it sounds like some kind of bizarre sexual offence, "officer I've been blogged !"...etc) Here are some titbits about what I am - I am 33 years of age, I have been in a relationship (consensual slavery) for.......hang on........six and half years with my girlfriend who shall remain nameless (I don't mention anyones name online without their permission) and I have a daughter who will also remain nameless, although I can reveal she is 5 years old and likes Scooby Doo and dragons. I work as a police civilian but seeing as I've signed the official secrets act thats about all I can say about that. (I would probably reveal more if I was tortured I'm no hero, anything involving water or suffocating and I will sing like a canary, although to be I don't actually know anything of any importance or interest, unless you are really, really interested in mind numbing statistics). My interests are wide, varied and often slighty bizarre.........I have lots of interests but am a bit of a jack of all trades master of none.......my concentration levels do not permit me to learn EVERYTHING about any subject....a learn a bit then..........yawn....whats next ? Will that do for an intro ?, I actually don't really like talking about myself that much so please bear with me, my blogging skills will improve with practice. Rant 1 Prostitution In many places prostitution is illegal....I find this strange.....it is technically legal to have sex (well in most places) and it is technically legal to......you know......sell stuff (including yourself ?! hmmmm ?, do you see what I did there ? that was an ironic segue...moving on...) BUT......it is illegal to sell sex ! This to the ninja is illogical captain, of course many will dredge up the hulking wreck they call (drum roll)................MORALITY !  but morality is like a guest at a party that only ever talks about one subject, continously, over and over again. Like those guys with a side parting and a "leisure blazer" (nothing leisurely about a blazer surely ?) that only talk about golf, like that difficult approach shot he nailed when he was at the 17th hole with a lawyer and the mayors aide ?, in fact even if you try and change the subject they will somehow try and turn that subject to golf e.g -"Dear me the situation in Iraq is turning into a real quagmire isn't it ?" "Yes......but not as bad as the quagmire of the bunker of the 15th hole I was stuck in yesterday !......I played a terrible tee-shot and........" "yeah I'm going to go and stand over here now...............don't follow me, I have a knife and I will cut you !". But making selling sex illegal is a strange concept. Surely giving a person an orgasm is a fairly decent thing to do for them ?.....really.....I mean its the kind of gesture the recipient is going to appreciate you know ?....they are going to think to themselves "I got value for money from that transaction". Now selling sex (giving somebody an orgasm) will often land you in jail. HOWEVER serving in the military and giving a person a bullet wound to their temple will get you a medal ! So, selling sex = jail Raining down cluster bombs on farms = medal However if my daughter were to one day turn to prostitution (and if that happens people you have pretty much f**ked up being a parent....it really is a worst case bad parenting scenario...) I would of course say the complete opposite to what I have said above and become an anally retentive crusader against it. Which leads us nicely to the subject of my next dojo.....(I don't know if I'll be doing it today maybe tomorrow) Hypocrisy and lack of empathy. Last edited on 07:33 pm by cynicalninja |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
cynicalninja Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member Smiling Shinobi
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Seperate from the main body of my dojo will be the steam room. The steam room will consist of posts of a somewhat shorter nature about one of the many things that irritate me. Most of things that occur to me will be on the spur of the moment so some of the language on display may be a little choice !  Celebrity cooks/chefs "Look at me everyone !, I can prepare a meal using fresh ingredients in a fully equipped kitchen !, am I not a god amongst men ?" NO ! you aren't ! Now put your stupid white hat on and get back in the kitchen where you belong and shut the f**k up. You have learned how to cook, bravo  how essential do you think your recipes and little cooking tips are to the human race in a hunter/gatherer sense ? Not a lot is the answer you pleb ! In the wider scheme of things knowing how to make a perfect creme brulee and how to create the perfect crayfish risotto is NOT important, it does NOT make you some kind of genius. Many people cook food as a hobby, many of them do not have the time or resources to cook some of the outlandishly complex recipes you come up with."And make sure you use EXTRA virgin olive oil !" Oh f**k off ! average working stiffs like us haven't got time to be so f**king anal about what ingredients we use, IF we even have the time to create a meal from scratch at all ! You seem to forget that cooking for you is your JOB, its what you do for a living, so you have the time to seek out the best organic butternut squash available at a local farmers market, you have the time to ensure you have a stainless steel melon baller to hand whenever the need should arise. People who watch your shows, buy your massively overpriced pretentious books and listen to your puritanically zealous views on food have jobs and cook as a hobby or through necessity ok ? You have managed to make food a fetish item, its flavours almost sexual in their importance. We wonder why obesity is growing problem and then we see some of the recipes you offer us, almost all full of fat, butter, loaded with calories, fried, deep fried and desserts that could give an elephant a sugar rush from hell ! "A layer of meringue, followed by clotted cream, followed by chocolate sponge, followed by more clotted cream, followed by handmade full cream ice cream, covered in a chocolate sauce, followed by another meringue. Doesn't that look scrumptious ?, 80,000 calories and 50 lbs of saturated fat but what do I care fatty ?, it looks nice and I am a frigging genius for creating it, now get it down you !.....hmmmm I can hear your arteries clogging from here !" "This recipe is easy to prepare" For you it is, in your space age kitchen, a long with the fact that the ingredients have all been collected and purchased by one of your minions, and washed, diced, sliced and prepared ready for you to use. And are you going to be washing all the untensils you use to prepare this recipe ?, are you f**k ! If I require a cook, I will save up some money and go to a restaurant, you just stay in your kitchen DON'T come out to say hello, you are a cook not a brain surgeon, cook the food I want to MY specifications and shut the f**k up ok ? Last edited on 12:43 pm by cynicalninja |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
cynicalninja Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member Smiling Shinobi
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
How will this effect the market/share prices/house prices ? You will hear this phrase repeated on news bulletins a lot, I mean often in relation to nearly every world/news event. There have recently been a spate of gang related gun murders in London, most of the victims young teenagers murdered in their homes. In the Daily Mail (for our american members, imagine if fox news ran a stiff upper lipped newspaper ?, ta da ! I give you the daily mail !) after reporting the initial shock at the killings they went on to question how these crimes would effect London staging the olympics in 2012 ! Excuse me ?, there are f**king people dead here and all you care about is how its going to effect the friggin olympics ? Whenever a terriorist atrocity hits a major western city a lot of peoples first thoughts are "Hmmmm.....I wonder how this will effect how my shares are doing ?" truly people who think like this have not tasted the milk of human kindness in quite a while. London the 7/7 bombings ? news programs quickly averted their gaze from the horrors of the aftermath to talk to business correspondents to see how the "markets" might be effected, don't worry the market is still "resilient" thank f**k for that ! Fox news themselves saw a window of financial opportunity thanks to 7/7 Editor Brit HUme told host Shephard Smith (shephard ?!  ) - "Just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the "futures" this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, hmmmmm time to buy, others may have thought that as well, but you never know about the markets".Thanks Brit !, nice to know our special "relationship" with America allows you to show your concern and support ! After 9/11 James B stewart of smartmoney magazine urged readers to follow his example and buy shares "both as a sound investment and as an act of patriotisim". What halt the quick buck rollercoaster ?, you may as well shit on the flag you commie. Some say James didn't go far enough, "something as abstract and emotional as patriotism was heresy, and that the sole basis should be rational calculation of economic self interest, anything less undermined the markets efficency and that in a sense was unpatriotic"  So the next time a terrorist bomb goes off, don't cry, don't shed a tear, for gods sake don't show any humanity or emotion ! concentrate on the markets it is your duty to do so.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
cynicalninja Forum-Blogger© Original500© Member Smiling Shinobi
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
My friend has only got one ball. My friend of many years Tony recently had to have a testicle removed from his scrotum. He is a skateboarder (a very good but borderline suicidal skateboarder) who has endured many ridiculous injuries over the years as a result of his need to do skateboard stunts on concrete or on metal railings, very hard metal railings. I have often watched him and his skateboard cronies going through their paces, I have captured many of their stunts and tricks on video and I have also captured many of their agonising mishaps (I must have used the phrase "Are you alright mate ?" a least a thousand times towards a prostrate skateboarder nursing yet another injury). I have enough material to start my own TV series of "Skateboardings most gruesome accidents" with some left over to spare. Well Tony was trying to "grind" a metal railing (you jump up onto the railing and "grind" the rail by sliding down it) and his board went shooting off into the air and he landed bollock first on the railing. The sound was akin to dropping a bag of jelly (jello) onto a tin roof, "kersplat" ! as Tony writhed around in agony I sort of chuckled to myself, I wasn't being cruel its just I had seen him land bollock first on many occasions and he had eventually managed to struggle to his feet and hobble homeward. "Are you alright mate ?" I said for what must be the two thousandth time, all I got in response was a muffled gurgle, the kind of sound a baby makes when its being sick. Oh dear I thought as I phoned for an ambulance. The ambulance ride was swift and very quiet apart from the odd faint gurgle from Tony who was now curled into a foetal position on the trolley. They took him into casualty and examined his bollocks, I unfortunately caught a glimpse of them and they looked like someone had attached a large red cabbage to wear his testicles used to be. He had internal bleeding and the testicle had been ruptured they needed to operate immediately to stop the bleeding. Two and a half hours later Tony emerged from the theatre awake and as white as a ghost, "Y....you alright mate ?" I said for 2001th time. "No" he said....."They had to remove it". For a few seconds I thought to myself "remove what" but of course then it dawned on me......"Oh right.....so............you alright mate ?" I said yet again. "No, no I'm not" was his reply. They then announced he would be given a replacement bollock, made of silicon which once popped in would feel very much like the one remaining real one. A few weeks later he was coming to terms with his new silicon ball but had developed a nasty habit of playing with it in public. The other day we were browsing a computer game shop and as I looked up he was standing next to the Nintendo DS games fondling his gonads yet again. So I shouted over "will you pack it in playing with Randall and Hopkirk in public mate ?" Luckily only he and myself knew the signficance of the joke so his humliation was minimal.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Site Supporters | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Posts Of The Day | Mock Forums | WowClassic | |
Themes and most mods done in collaboration with: WowClassic - powerful forum software with the best support service.
We are partners with Forum Owner Services
Powered by - Copyright © 2003-2006 Aycan Gulez
We are partners with Forum Owner Services
Powered by - Copyright © 2003-2006 Aycan Gulez