A redneck is driving down the interstate, when his car breaks down. He coast over to the shoulder, and gets out and procedes to put a rose on the hood, and a carnation on the trunk.
A state trooper pulls over, and walks up to the redneck and asks, "Why do you have a rose on the hood, and a carnation on the trunk"?
The redneck replies, "well, the sign sez in case of emergency, put a flare on the front and a flare on the back".
A redneck is getting on the interstate, and a semi hits hit and knocks him clean off the road. The state trooper ask him, "didn't you see the sign that said to yield"?
The redneck replied, "well, I yelled at him three times, and he still hit me."
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